Red flags in relationships.

Please read.
You always get told to follow your heart, But if your gut is telling you something is wrong, please listen to that first. Your heart sees the good in people, the gut sees the truth.

Here is a list of the things all young woman should know once they get into a relationship. The ‘Red flags’ you should be aware of :

1) Paranoia. – Yes, everyone does get paranoid when they truly love someone, But if the paranoia turns really obsessive and they want control of everything you do. Leave. They won’t change, You can be paranoid a little bit, like not trust them at first, But if you’re a few months down the line in a relationship and they want control on your social media, don’t want you talking to anyone who has/had feelings for you, don’t want you going out clubbing/drinking etc etc, then leave. If you are in a young relationship especially, and they start getting paranoid over who you’re hanging out with,if they’ve been your friends for years. Don’t put up with it, Leave.
2) Lies. – If anyone you are in a relationship with, be it a romantic relationship or a friendship, constantly lies to you or finds it difficult to tell you the truth, it communicates a lack of trust and a lack of respect for you. If you can’t trust the person you are in a relationship with, things remain unsettled. Such lack of trust can lead to paranoia (an intense feeling of anxiety and fear) for you, which is very unhealthy. Without trust, there is no point remaining in the relationship and continuing to torture yourself emotionally.

3) Never admitting they are wrong. – If your partner never admits they are wrong, there taking advantage of you. Do you find yourself saying sorry to people as they barge past you? Even though they could clearly see you, and it was their fault for barging? Yeah it’s kind of like that. You’ll find your partner wont admit when their wrong, they’ll pass the blame on you, and you’ll find yourself feeling over whelmed, and scared of losing them, so you say sorry anyway.

4) Aggressiveness – If they are really aggressive, whether it’s with their family, friends or even you sometimes. You might think it’s minor, but it means they have a certain temper. It means if they claim to have ‘anger issues’ or say they sometimes ‘see red’ then you know they aren’t husband material. If your partner is cool with breaking things in your environment, what makes you think 100% that wont be you next time? Now I’m all for punching pillows and screaming into them when I’m upset/mad, But if it’s walls, kicking things, or smashing things, please take this into account that it might not be the end of that anger.

5) Early controlling. – Similarly, a partner may attempt to “divide and conquer,” driving a wedge between you and other significant people in your life. They may be jealous of your ongoing relationships with these people or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you associate with, limiting your world to allow in only what is important to them. Sometimes, they may make you choose them over significant others as an expression of “love.” They’re trying to isolate you so that you will never leave them, because you’ll have no one. Not a good thing to ignore.

6) Secretive past. – If they don’t talk about previous relationships, or mention their ex partners, that’s a huge red flag. No one goes into a relationship, and doesn’t at least once ask about the other persons ex partners. and if you’re not anything like me, I stalk all my boyfriends ex partners, as crazy as that sounds. Just for personal preference that he’s not a serial killer or anything..

7) Abusive behaviour. – Finally, and of course, any form of abuse, from the seemingly mild to the overtly obvious—verbal, emotional, psychological, and certainly physical—is not just a red flag but a huge banner telling you to get out immediately and never look back.

Thanks for reading, I hope this helped at least one person.

-LJ